Merry Christmas 2011!

May God be with you and your family this holiday season. Tonight begins our festivities with our church play that I am running. Please keep us in your prayers especially Josh and Mike who are sick and Gabby seems to have a touch of whatever it is. They aren't running fevers so that is great but their congestion is pretty bad and we have been doing nebulizer treatments and smart vest treatments. Hugh unfortunately is working today so he will miss much of the beginning things. After church I will return home with the kids since I don't want the boys getting sicker or getting anyone else sick. Tomorrow everyone comes to my mom's place so there is no avoiding it but I am going to try my best to keep them in bed as long as I can after gifts.

This is our second year without George and the hardest thus far. It has been so hard infact that I have not had it in me to even write about it. By the time I get to it, I am so exhausted on all levels I just go to sleep. Under his tree this year are two gifts from his family. This second year has just been terrible and yet I cannot even believe we are coming to the end of the two year mark. It seems as if yesterday he died. The hard part is that from Sept until February I am just filled with so many mixed emotions and higher anxiety and depression in general. Those are the months he was alive so I have memories to compare to.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Shear Pain

The past two days have been full of heartache and pain for me. So often I find myself choking back tears. Tonight I woke up with George on my mind and just could not go back to sleep. My heart is just aching and writhing in pain. I thought that doing this project would make it easier and in some ways it did and others it didn't. I'm proud of the project and all we did to make this happen however I want my son rather than a bunch of stockings. People say it is a good thing and I know that it was but I want my baby back, not having to remember him this way. Life is so hard to live without him.

For Christmas, I am asking any of you who read this to please leave a message below in the comment section here. Please let us know how George touched your life. I've asked for people to do this sort of thing before and they haven't but I am asking that you take a few moments just to let me know how he has changed your life for the better. I guess in some way I need to know that there is some validation for all this pain that I carry in my heart. Please do this as a gift to me.

Thank You!

I want to thank you all for helping to make this stocking project take off. We were blessed to be able to fill all 100 stockings in George's memory and that of others in heaven. This was the project for us that truly touched our hearts on a different level. We never could have done it without all of those who helped. Below are some pictures of our project. My favorite one is the one of Gabby in our shopping cart full of items for the stockings...her innocence in this all is captured and just precious as we honor her big brother's memory. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!

Poem

Clare O'Reilly

When little ones leave us we seem to think,
Their lives were somehow incomplete .
Yet, we may not see the role they play
In helping someone else see the way.

Who knows what blessing their life may bring,
Though seemingly such a tragic thing.
For Maybe some lost soul will see
His desperate need of Calvary.

A mom might begin to treasure her role
As she realizes her investment in a soul.
Maybe a dad will spend more time
Making memories versus spending a dime.

Maybe a sibling will stop to pray
Before choosing unkind words to say.
Maybe hurt feeling will begin to mend
To secure their bond with a friend.

Who knows the impact a life can make;
There is a purpose for Heaven’s sake.
So though we hate to say goodbye;
We know that Jesus now holds you nigh!