George's Guardian's of Grace Projects
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I talk to other mom's who's babies are there in heaven with you. We all ache the same ache and although we cry for different children we cry the same tears. I look at their pictures of their babies and the one resounding similarity is that we all have that one picture. It is the picture where we all had to say goodbye to our babies. The faces are different but the pain written on our faces is exactly the same. I look at their pictures and see the one that I have of daddy and I holding you.
It is all so very difficult but I know I have promised to make you proud of me. Each day I do something in your honor/memory even if nobody else knows it, I know you do. There are times it is just getting out of bed in the morning. To some people that seems stupid and easy but I know that you know how hard that can be for me to do some days. You were my world and still are but you just happen to only be a part of this world now in the hearts of those who knew and love you.
I have one favor to ask you. Please watch over your brothers and sister. Your big brother misses you so much and is having a very hard time right now. I don't know what else to do for him right now as we all struggle to find some sort of way to live in a world that keeps spinning when our world has stopped. There are so many things I can't fix for your siblings so when I can't fix it just let them know you are with them and love them even worlds away. Joshua has nightmares and just has crying spells we haven't learned to help him with them other than to hold him and assure him that it will be ok. Michael has such anxiety about people leaving and worries they won't come back. It is so hard to not be able to explain to them that we will all see you again some day and that God has a plan for us all...they just don't understand it...I don't always understand it. Your little sister will never know you until we are all in heaven again together. She had her first vaccine today and I am very worried since you, Josh, and Michael all had problems following yours. I will never know if it was what took you to heaven but I don't want to take that chance so please keep an eye on her for me and let her know your love in her heart as she grows up so that even though she never got to meet you, she knows you in her heart.
I know that there is a greater plan at work but it surely wasn't part of mine. I am not mad and have never been but am maybe very confused. How in the world and why in the world has God chosen this path for us? Somehow, things have always been hard for me and daddy. We know we are very blessed and that as long as we have one another and you guys that it will all be ok since we believe in God's plans for us but it is so hard sometimes to understand it all not knowing the full picture. I know this is where we are suppose to be right now by the feelings that God gives me in my heart. Every part of me just questions Why? I am not happy about any of the life challenges thrown our way and part of me envies those who seem to have life easier. I then try to remind myself that things always seem greener on the other side and not everyone is as blessed as we are and not everyone knows God the way we do. I am also so grateful that God has already began to call your siblings to his table so that we can all be together someday again.
I guess until that day I will just have to put my faith in God's plan and know his promise that I will be with you again. You are up there preparing a room for us and I cannot wait to see the place you have prepared for us all to share in such a wonderful place. I send you my hugs and kisses all the time, I hope that you get them and know how much I love you. Know that I think of you every day and that I am keeping the faith no matter my personal pain and I will be able to hold you again and I can't wait! Love you so much monkey.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
But I myself determine,
Just where the banks will go.
Some days the current takes me
In waves of guilt and pain
But there are always quiet pools
Where I can rest again.
I crash on rocks of anger
My faith seems faint indeed
But there are other swimmers
Who know just what I need
And loving hands to hol...d me
When the waters are too swift
And someone kind to listen
When I just seem to drift
Grief's river is a process
Of relinquishing the past
By swimming in Hope's channels
I'll reach the shore at last
~Cynthia G. Kelley~
One night I cried to Jesus
As I sat beneath the tree;
I looked into the open sky
And hoped He'd answer me.
"I'm lost dear Lord...
I've traveled far, but still I seem to roam;
Please light the way and lead me, Lord,
I need to get back home."
I told Him of my burdens
And the sadness in my heart;
That from His gracious love
I'd never felt so far apart....
"Why did you take my child, Lord?
I cannot understand!
No longer can I touch his face
Or hold his in my hand."
"I'm angry, Lord... I'm missing him,
I'm drowning in my sorrow;
Please help to heal my yesterday
And face each new tomorrow."
It was then I heard his gentle voice
And felt his presence near;
How I wanted so to hold him
As I cried another tear.
He said, "Mommy, I'm an angel now,
My spirit will be free;
I'm an angel now in heaven,
So please don't cry for me."
"I was chosen by our Lord above
And now I'm in His care;
Whenever you need me,
Just look inside your heart;
I promise to be there."
"No one can ever take away
Our bond with one another;
For I'll always be your precious child,
As you will always be my mother."
"So if you cannot find your way
Or the road to home seems far;
Just look up to the Heavens
And I'll be your guiding star."
He said, "Mommy, I'm an angel now,
My spirit will be free;
I'm an angel now in Heaven...
There's no need to cry for me."
by Joylynn Charity Miller
Once, a little rose bush
With no blooms yet to bear,
Inched itself toward a picket fence
And quietly rested there.
Then day by day it pulled its stems
To the flaws in the fence's wall,
And slowly crept its way...
Until it wasn't there at all.
On the other side it flourished,
On the other side, grew lush,
But the planter ...of the seedling
Missed that beautiful rose bush!
So young and it had vanished!
So small and it was gone!
But on the other side of the fence
It still, to life, held on!
And as the little babies here
Have left without a trace,
They rest upon the heavenly shore,
And bloom in all God's grace!
Once upon a time, there was a child in heaven about to be born. As she stood before Gods throne, she asked, "They tell me that you are sending me to earth tomorrow. How am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
"Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
"But here in heaven I sing and smile. That is enough for me to be happy."
"Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. You will feel your angels love and be happy."
"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me? I do not know the language that they speak on earth."
"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
"And what will I do when I need to talk to you?"
"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
"I have heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"
"Your angel will protect you, even if it means risking its own life."
"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
"Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be with you."
At that moment, there was great excitement in heaven. The choirs of angels raised their voices, and a bright light began to surround the young child. She began to hear earthly voices from the delivery room at the hospital and was drawn toward a long, bright tunnel.
Suddenly, the child thought of one final question: "Oh, God, if I am about to leave you, please tell me my angels name."
My child, He smiled, "You will call your angel, Mommy."
Last night while I was asleep,
My Angel took me by the hand,
So I could take a peek.
The air is filled with music,
The colours vivid and bright,
The flowers are all in bloom,
It is a truly beautiful sight.
My Little Angel she heard me cry,
I need to know where she now slept,
Like any mother I had to see,
I had pleaded while I wept.
A mother has to know everyday,
Where all her children are,
It is part of the mother’s ties,
Even if they are afar.
I needed to know she was safe and warm,
As I lay down at close of day,
My heart needed to know she was happy,
Where she is now to stay.
So last night my Angel she took me,
To the dreamland beyond the stars,
So that I can now rest easy,
I would know she’s not that far.
Her perfect world it is pain free,
No quarrels over toys,
So many beautiful babies,
And smiling girls and boys.
The angels they do love them,
The babies in their care,
They softly serenade them,
While they gently comb their hair.
This place of amazing beauty,
The home of my darling child,
It is more serene that I imagined,
So temperate and so mild.
So now when I lay down to sleep,
And as I close my eyes tight,
I know where all my children are,
All safe and sound tonight.
Christine Bevington 2011
I found this on another parents page who's baby was celebrating their birthday! It was just so beautiful I had to post it.
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts - SURPRISE!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel XX
Video Tributes/Celebration of Life Footage
Here is a link to a video tribute that was made by Richard's dad in memory of George. Get out your tissues!
We Finally have footage from the service up and running:
It is in 4 sections running about 17 mins each. If you were unable to attend, you can now see what you missed. We were so blessed to have everyone there with us in person and in spirit!