Today I got the news that George's name has finally been added to the wall at our church where part of his ashes were buried. Two years and one month to the very day from the day he died it is finally goes on the wall. It went to only prove it is in God's time and not ours. Our deacon emailed me with an apology about how long it took and how she was sorry about it all. Before I even knew the date, I just sat there thinking that it won't change the fact he is dead and has been two years so why does it really matter? Why was it such a big deal to me?
The next thing I thought about was this kid always wanted to remind me of him. Before he died I would say he knew he was number 4 so he chose 09/09/09 as his birthday so I would never forget. When he died he died of course on the 29th which has been come to be known with our family for the days of major loss. The next thing that comes to mind after wondering why it was a big deal was surely about his timing. I thought that little turkey wanted me to remember the day his name went on the wall too with it being a leap year...then wham...another stupid 29! I chuckled to myself of course after some massive crying, our deacon is apologizing and little did she know it was God's time but not ours. If I ever doubted it before...God calls the shots!
Since my last post a lot has changed for me and although not all fixed I am in much better spirits and have come to terms more with his death and God along with myself. I've done a lot of soul searching and shed more tears than anyone could possibly count. There is a lot to be said about it all but being so emotionally wiped out for the day that it will be another day that I feel more up to tackling that mountain. I just had to share with everyone who follows us the news of his name going up and for those who may be nonbelievers that there is surely something greater out there than we are and my son is true proof of that!!!
