I have been thinking so much of you lately. We were blessed to have one Christmas with you. I remember all the time leading up to the day. Our family had matching pajamas and you actually fell asleep while we were opening gifts. The weeks coming before were ones full of planning since the day following Christmas day, we were headed to Florida for our first trip to Disney as a family. Those days were the happiest I had during your life. The picture above was one of my favorite and I remember getting on the floor with you to take your picture. Life without you is so hard, especially the holidays when we did have you. The only thing that I think of was that time you were with us. So often my memories feel more like a dream rather than a memory. Our time with you was so brief that it just seems so unreal. I miss you with all my heart. It is so hard for me to just get up and move through the days sometimes. Today I just couldn't keep my eyes open and slept a good portion of the day and could probably have slept more had your siblings not been here. Our lives without you have become so very different than I had ever thought or planned. Random things will make me think of you and I just cry. The past few nights I have just felt the need to cry myself to sleep. I miss you so much and there are days that the pain feels as if it is unbearable. There are many moments I am overwhelmed but there rare also moments of sheer thankfulness for God letting me be your mommy and to have 9 months with you to myself along with the time you were here with us after you were born. It is so hard sometimes to think that I knew you longer in my womb than I did in my arms. I was so blessed to be your mommy and wish I had you here with me longer. Please know you are not forgotten, even if everyone else forgets, I won't and I will always keep your memory alive as long as I am breathing. I hope heaven is all that it is said to be and that we get to be together again someday. You are truly my kindred spirit and just knew my soul in a way that no one else ever has and ironically you never even spoke a word! Merry Christmas little monkey, I love you so much!
I have been thinking so much of you lately. We were blessed to have one Christmas with you. I remember all the time leading up to the day. Our family had matching pajamas and you actually fell asleep while we were opening gifts. The weeks coming before were ones full of planning since the day following Christmas day, we were headed to Florida for our first trip to Disney as a family. Those days were the happiest I had during your life. The picture above was one of my favorite and I remember getting on the floor with you to take your picture. Life without you is so hard, especially the holidays when we did have you. The only thing that I think of was that time you were with us. So often my memories feel more like a dream rather than a memory. Our time with you was so brief that it just seems so unreal. I miss you with all my heart. It is so hard for me to just get up and move through the days sometimes. Today I just couldn't keep my eyes open and slept a good portion of the day and could probably have slept more had your siblings not been here. Our lives without you have become so very different than I had ever thought or planned. Random things will make me think of you and I just cry. The past few nights I have just felt the need to cry myself to sleep. I miss you so much and there are days that the pain feels as if it is unbearable. There are many moments I am overwhelmed but there rare also moments of sheer thankfulness for God letting me be your mommy and to have 9 months with you to myself along with the time you were here with us after you were born. It is so hard sometimes to think that I knew you longer in my womb than I did in my arms. I was so blessed to be your mommy and wish I had you here with me longer. Please know you are not forgotten, even if everyone else forgets, I won't and I will always keep your memory alive as long as I am breathing. I hope heaven is all that it is said to be and that we get to be together again someday. You are truly my kindred spirit and just knew my soul in a way that no one else ever has and ironically you never even spoke a word! Merry Christmas little monkey, I love you so much!
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