Our Angel Mito Monkey: Heavy Heart

George's Guardian's of Grace Projects

Stocking project is now in full force collecting donations. We have a list of the items we can use. You can also choose to sponsor a stocking in memory or honor of someone else. We will include a paragraph or two in the cards we place in the stockings to let the recipient know about the person that means so much to you. Our paypal account is posted on this page and ready to take donations. Email us for a list of items needed or with any questions or information you would like included on a sponsored stocking/donation.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Heavy Heart

Tonight my heart is heavy as the very last night I spent with you runs through my mind. I miss those days where I got to hold you and play with you. Putting you to bed for the last time is a constant reminder of how precious life really is to me. I realized the other day I stopped putting the sign of the cross and saying "angels watch over you" on all your siblings foreheads since the day you died. I happened to go to do it to Joshua out of my old habit and realized how long it had been since I did it and it just made memories flood my mind of that night when I did that to you and how angry I am that God stole you in the night. I know deep down that really isn't the case but at times that is how it seems. I will never forget the music that played in the room that night and how you looked up at me with that sad little look that I was putting you to bed but then you just put your head down. I realized I had forgotten to bless you and went back to make sure I did it. It was the last time I would do that while you were alive. My heart just aches and is so very heavy with the memories of that night...they are so precious to me and yet bring back such pain and hurt. I just hate it all...this isn't fair that anyone should hurt like this...I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and would give anything to have you back and for the pain to be gone. I try every single day to keep it together and am really working hard on learning how to live again but it is so hard and so exhausting. Everyone wants me to move on and I know I have to but it isn't easy and just hurts so bad. Even when tears don't fill my eyes they fill my heart and my heart just cries out in such agony over our loss of you. I hear about this little girl who I know is your age and being mistreated and it just hurts so bad and every part of me just wants to take her and love her like we would have loved you if you were here but we can't and it isn't our place but just hearing about it tears me apart inside...it isn't fair that you were so loved and are gone and yet this child suffers...I will never understand God's logic and if anything ever makes you question God, these are the things that do. Know that I love you with all my heart and I think of you all the time even when I don't show it to the rest of the world, my heart knows and feels your presence even if you aren't here you will always be in my heart.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Matthew 25:35

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ 41“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; 43I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ 44“Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ 45“Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46“These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Obituary

George Charles Garman of Lumberton, born September 9, 2009, awoke in the Lord's loving arms on Friday, January 29, 2010. He was a beloved infant-son, brother, grandson, nephew, and light to all during his time on Earth, and his beautiful smile and infectious laugh continue to live on in the memories of all who knew him. The gifts he bestowed upon everyone he encountered are especially recalled fondly by his parents, Hugh and Nicole Garman (Arnao), brothers, Richard, Joshua, and Michael, grandparents, Michael and Barbara Arnao, and Alice and the late Frank Garman, and his great-grandparents Charles and Catherine Arnao and the late George and Frieda Miller. While the four short months he shared with his loved ones were made all too brief due to his fight with Mitochondrial Disease, his memory will live on forever. A celebration of George's life will be held on Saturday, February 13, 2010. Calling hours will be from 12:00-2:00 PM at St. Martin in the Fields Episcopal Church, 489 Main St., Lumberton, NJ 08048. A celebratory service will begin at 2 PM with a reception following. In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations made in George's name to The Joshua Garman Special Needs Trust c/o J. Robert Steelman 1117 Lambert Dr., Westhampton, NJ 08060. Condolences may be sent to www.koschekandporterfuneralhome.com