Our Angel Mito Monkey: So Different

George's Guardian's of Grace Projects

Stocking project is now in full force collecting donations. We have a list of the items we can use. You can also choose to sponsor a stocking in memory or honor of someone else. We will include a paragraph or two in the cards we place in the stockings to let the recipient know about the person that means so much to you. Our paypal account is posted on this page and ready to take donations. Email us for a list of items needed or with any questions or information you would like included on a sponsored stocking/donation.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

So Different

Life is so different than I had ever planned for it to be. Things have been so hard for us and often times I wonder where the fairness is in it all. I would not wish anyone else harm or these bad things but I often wonder how it is that we were dished so many hard things in life to overcome. Our house is officially gone and it came as a surprise since our lawyer was suppose to let us know when we were only a few days away so we could do our final walk through. Hugh and I went over to do that since we knew that the 30th was when we were suppose to close on our bankruptcy. We got to the house only to find all the locks changed and I cannot tell you how devastating that is. I sat in the car crying as Hugh just stared blankly. One of the biggest parts of our lives was over...we had worked so hard on it and it was gone in the blink of an eye. I found it so odd as I thought how Gabby would never know it as home and yet it was the only home George ever knew. My heart just breaks now as I type this.

My parents had gone to SC this past week and although I had planned to go, part of me didn't want to go. Just a day later, I couldn't stay here at the house with just Richard and Gabby since Hugh was working all the time. All I could think about was the house and all that happened there, good and bad. I remember the day Hugh and I got married, we stopped at the house still in wedding attire and had a picture taken. God, we had no idea what awaited us as we stood there so deep in love and oblivious to all the life changes we were in for that awaited us. Being alone with my thoughts isn't really a good thing since it really makes me think of things on all levels and most of the time I can only focus on the bad/tough stuff. After being alone with my thoughts, Richard, Gabby, and I opted to drive to SC to be with my parents and the two younger boys. Hugh did eventually follow us to go for a job interview at a furniture place there.

Our family is looking to move south but I am so torn about it all. One part of me wants to go and the other is screaming no. I don't have any idea what is in store for us and I fear the unknown. We have been handed so much unknown that I am so not ready for this sort of thing and yet there is nothing left for us here. Hugh and I cannot afford to stay here if my parents choose to move so one way or another we have to move and the thought of it all is just so overwhelming. We had hoped Hugh would know about the job by the time we left and finally we would have some guidance but it didn't work out that way either. My heart just feels like it wants to explode with tears...if hearts could cry, mine would have drown me by now with all the pain I feel on a daily basis.

The morning we were coming home Hugh made a comment about "the three younger boys sitting on the back bench" and I just lost it and cried. I've become so good at putting up that front and the permanent happy face that often times I think I am fooling myself too. Moments like those that come out of no where are the ones when I realize how bad I really do feel inside. He didn't mean to say what he did but it came out and it made me think of George because Gabby is a girl. The tears just kept flowing. With the house being gone, it is just one more way that I have lost my son. The only place he knew as home is now gone and the last of the things I had cherished that reminded me of him is forever lost. We came home to only find boards on the windows which made it even harder and although I have on my happy face, my heart is crying and the pain is so great. I want my son back in the worst way and yet I know I can't have that. Life has been so unfair to us and I feel such a need for a break in it all. Feeling homeless is such a devastating feeling but add loosing the room your dead child lived in and the place they knew as home is even more heart wrenching than you can think of.

I am happy for all the blessings, don't get me wrong but my heart just aches so bad at times. The pain is so overwhelming at times no matter how good you get at putting on that happy face for the rest of the world. Please keep us in your prayers as we face yet another emotional obstacle.

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Matthew 25:35

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ 41“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; 43I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ 44“Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ 45“Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46“These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Obituary

George Charles Garman of Lumberton, born September 9, 2009, awoke in the Lord's loving arms on Friday, January 29, 2010. He was a beloved infant-son, brother, grandson, nephew, and light to all during his time on Earth, and his beautiful smile and infectious laugh continue to live on in the memories of all who knew him. The gifts he bestowed upon everyone he encountered are especially recalled fondly by his parents, Hugh and Nicole Garman (Arnao), brothers, Richard, Joshua, and Michael, grandparents, Michael and Barbara Arnao, and Alice and the late Frank Garman, and his great-grandparents Charles and Catherine Arnao and the late George and Frieda Miller. While the four short months he shared with his loved ones were made all too brief due to his fight with Mitochondrial Disease, his memory will live on forever. A celebration of George's life will be held on Saturday, February 13, 2010. Calling hours will be from 12:00-2:00 PM at St. Martin in the Fields Episcopal Church, 489 Main St., Lumberton, NJ 08048. A celebratory service will begin at 2 PM with a reception following. In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations made in George's name to The Joshua Garman Special Needs Trust c/o J. Robert Steelman 1117 Lambert Dr., Westhampton, NJ 08060. Condolences may be sent to www.koschekandporterfuneralhome.com