Posted by Another Mom

Normal"

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family’s life.

Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming because you just don't like to sit through anything.

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly.

Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away.

Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening.

Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.

Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".

Normal is having some people afraid to mention my Son. (daughter)

Normal is making sure that others remember him. (her)

Normal is weeks, months after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse, not better.

Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING, even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.

Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.

Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.

Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you know they were once someone's loved one.

Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone.

Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.

Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in England, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands and all over the USA, but yet never having met any of them face to face.

Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new “normal”.

Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because..." I know that my Son(daughter) is in heaven, but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why he (she) was taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this mother.

Normal is being too tired to care if you paid the bills, cleaned the house, did laundry or if there is any food.

Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a God?

Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day, or a million years.

And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "normal".