I am reading a new christian book series. Just a few chapters in and I have tons of new thoughts and things that I felt spoke to my soul. Having lost George has made me seek answers from God or just find his comfort in life any way I can. Never before did I make time for reading but now I am trying to do it once a day. When things finally settle down here and we are finally moved in I have plans to work on a family bible study and individual one for myself. For now I am going to continue to read books that have a christian basis to them.
This book is taking the Lord's prayer or the Our Father line by line and giving you an insight into them and the meaning behind them or how they really apply to life. One of the sections is about praise. I found it interesting that God needs praise also. Never did I ever think about that. I mean I always thank him for the blessings in my life but never thought to give him that pat on the back and say good job! Not to say that God needs that kind of praise but I just thought worship itself was enough. My mom would always say God is good when something good happened and I really thought she was crazy.
I think of my kids and how each of them I try to praise for the simplest things and how they each seek it. Joshua especially is the one who asks if you are proud of him for just throwing something in the trash...he always seems to need reassurance. I then think of myself and how great it feels if someone tells me that I am doing a good job or that they find some comfort in all that I do. It gives some sort of validity to all that has happened and also makes you feel as if you are doing something right. I know so many who always doubt themselves and it is pretty much everyone I know. Never did I think that God would feel the need for the sort of praise that we all need too.
The other day I spoke to my best friend. She is going through a very tough part of her life right now. I could hear the insecurity in her voice and she didn't even have to tell me. She felt so very lost in her life. I remember being there myself once my first husband went to prison and I was left alone with my son having to figure out life. It was so hard and I was so lost with no one to guide me. Little did I know at that moment, it was part of God's plan and he was guiding me even though here on Earth those around me really had no clue. I was seeking reassurance from those around me but could not get it and just had no idea where to go but that was when God was playing a huge part of it all and calling me to his fold.
As I sat there talking to my friend I felt so deeply for her knowing how very lost she was in the world and was looking for that unconditional love. I've learned how to show that to others after all I have been through in my own life. Had I not been through what I have been through I never would have been able to be this compassionate and know when someone needs reassuring words or just a hug with no words spoken. In my conversation with her I told her how much I love her and how much I felt her pain since I have been in that dark place. I told her what a good person she was and to not ever doubt that no matter what anyone says. Above all, she deserves happiness and love.
She is still in the beginning part of her walk with God. Years ago she would deny faith all together, now she says she is open to it. I was dumbfounded with that statement because I know where she was before. That was such a huge step for her to just admit that, and I was so happy for her. I know that God has called her name, it is now just up to her to listen and follow his voice in the darkness. It has always been odd to me how God uses others to bring us each to him even if the people he uses don't even know it. The book also touches on this and how we are all his instruments and he is using us all every day to bring back his lost sheep. I don't know what has been changing my friend's faith but I cannot tell you how happy I am for her because I know the difference she will find in her life once she chooses to have God as her father. He is the one person who doesn't let you down. You may not understand anything but you know in your heart that it will all work out one way or another and eventually you will see the reason.
Here I am kind of getting off subject but I can't tell you how my heart just sang to hear her just say she was "open to it". I was going to say how she in fact felt relief after praise and really needed that praise to know that she was not completely lost with all she was enduring. Gabrielle, at only 7 months old also seeks praise. I can clap my hands and praise her and even when tears are rolling down her chubby little cheeks, you can see a smile wash all of that away.
So often we cry to God or just come to him in time of need. We will even find ourselves making deals with him. Save my son and I will go to church every Sunday and give away all my possessions. Take my pain away and I will do whatever you want from me, even serve the homeless and give them the shirt off of my back. In all of that, we forget to thank God for the blessings. Often times we get so wrapped up in our suffering and pain. I am one who is guilty of this and I am sure everyone else is too. In our pain and suffering it is hard to see past it and acknowledge the good and praise God for those things.
In all my pain, I have been blessed enough to see the good even if I didn't tell God about it and thank him for the blessings. George died but Gabrielle was born. We have lost our home but we have gained a larger family(we added my parents) and they are able to give the kids things to help them grow up in a better manner and memories that they will cherish the rest of their lives. I got divorced after my house was raided by the FBI and I learned personal strength and found the most wonderful man in the world. I was overweight and felt worthless and yet I found compassion for others in a different manner. All of life's obstacles come with a blessing in them even if we cannot see them. For that reason alone God should be praised.
I never would ever understand when my grandmother would raise her hands to the heavens and say "Praise the Lord" for the tiniest thing in the world. I would just brush it off as my grandmother being the person she was without realizing there was a point in her life when she was cursing God. You could walk in the door with dinner for her or just do something nice and she would always say "praise the lord" Now I have a different understanding of that and how it needs to play a bigger part of my life and something that I want to teach my own children. For all of my own personal life blessings..."Praise the Lord"
No comments:
Post a Comment