Yesterday made me know that we cannot move and aren't meant to move. I know financially that my parents can't stay here but I know we have to find a way to stay. You are probably wondering what it was that made that change so fast. Yesterday Joshua graduated from Kindergarten and Michael had his Kickball Tournament. Both boys are in classes that have children with all sorts of challenges. Our experience with both classes just made us know we had to stay for them because they thrive and shine and it is all due to the school staff and their hard work with these children.
I wish I could explain the feeling in these rooms yesterday. The beginning of our day started with Michael's class of 5 children with challenges that all vary and yet you would not know there was a thing wrong with any of them by the way they acted. Not one of these children let their challenges get in their way of playing this game of kickball. They had to practice for 2 months to be able to do this but they were so proud of themselves and couldn't wait to show their parents all they had accomplished. We laughed and cried as the parents of these children and knowing where each one came from. There were two classes of 5 that played two hard innings and finished up in their classrooms with their proud parents spending some time and eating snacks. The atmosphere created by these children was nothing but amazing and such a gift and blessing to be able to experience.
Two things crossed my mind as I sat there cheering on these children. First of all I was so proud of Michael and knew he needed to remain in this atmosphere of support and love created by all the work of the staff and our ability to put things in place to make it easy for him to succeed. I was afraid for him if we were to loose that. My next big thought was about how George should be following in his footsteps. We were joking about how the teacher didn't have anymore Garman's in the wings that would make her classroom cold. After the joking I got to thinking about how he would have been there or getting ready to attend her class and it made me sad. It wasn't long before I had to snap out of it and head to Joshua's class.
Joshua's graduation was such a HUGE milestone for him that all of us made it and so did Hugh's mom and mine. He has worked so hard to get where he is! The teachers and therapists did not think he would be where he is right now. We all knew where he came from and how hard learning came to Joshua and yet how hard he works to try and accomplish something. This was his second year in this class and each year he grew so much. We also know Michael would be going into this class and that he would benefit from this classroom greatly and the idea of him not being able to have this just broke my heart and I got sadder as time went on and also prouder. I was sad for the fact that our dreams for our life turned out nothing like we had planned and that was mainly the fact that we were all there but George and that hurt.
I also though of how hard our lives have been and how hard we have struggled even before we were married and if you thought of all that, you couldn't help but be sad. The other side of it was that I thought of the people we were then and the people we are now and our blessings. My children have been my teachers and shown me how often times one tiny step deserves more praise than a mile being ran. They taught me how much I personally cherish life from the very moment it starts as little tiny cells. They also made me realize that no one person deserves life over anyone else based on challenges or accomplishments and time here doesn't determine impact on the world. Every single day they teach me more than I will ever teach them.
This entire thing made me realize how much more I want them to thrive and how it is this environment that allows that. We need to do whatever we can to stay in our schools for the kids. Richard will also be going to HS soon and will struggle in a typical HS and here he has the option of a vocational school where I know he will succeed. Hugh is a supervisor and although the pay isn't great, it is experience as a supervisor and it does pay the bills. The kids have health insurance here in NJ and if we were to move to SC they would have to loose it here until I can try to re qualify the kids. We also just found the best medical staff for the kids and I would have to go through that all over again and I am so afraid of that for them and myself. Deep down, I felt that we need to stay here and make this as possible as can be for all our sakes. I'm really praying that we can find a way to get ourselves a new home here and asking God for his guidance through all of this. Please pray for us and that God guides us each day to get where he wants us to be.
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