George's Guardian's of Grace Projects
Stocking project is now in full force collecting donations. We have a list of the items we can use. You can also choose to sponsor a stocking in memory or honor of someone else. We will include a paragraph or two in the cards we place in the stockings to let the recipient know about the person that means so much to you. Our paypal account is posted on this page and ready to take donations. Email us for a list of items needed or with any questions or information you would like included on a sponsored stocking/donation.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
First Day of School
Today was the first day of school for all the boys. Richard had his first day of middle school. Joshua had his first full day of school as a Kindergartner. Michael was going back to his half day morning sessions. We got off to a rough start with Richard not waking up on time and Josh peeing on his shirt by accident. All craziness averted or fixed and they all got off to start new chapters in their lives.
Hugh and I have had a rough few days and today was no different. I came in the house and started crying. I was not crying because they boys were growing up but rather because George should have been here. So many people have been saying "you will finally have peace and quite, it will be nice" I don't want peace and quiet, I want my son here. My heart was breaking thinking that George should have been waving a chubby little hand saying good bye as his brothers got on the bus or have his nose pressed against the glass of our front door as he watched them step on the bus together. Instead we were left with silence and breaking hearts for a memory we will never have with him in it.
The very thought that he was alive and well just one year ago getting ready to bless the world is just so overwhelming. He was safe in my belly where he rolled around and kicked, totally in his own little world, content and safe. Never in our worst dreams did we ever anticipate this is where we would be a year later. He would be gone and part of us would forever be missing. We try to find ways to keep it together but sometimes moments like these are just very hard if not impossible to do that with. We know we can't change any of it but if ever given the chance we would want him to be here. I know all the logical thinking or optimistic ways to think but those are just no help and when people try to say them you want to sock them and ask them how would they feel if it was their child that was dead. Nothing can ever be fixed and optimistic views are nice but unrealistic sometimes and are surely not much help when moments like these come.
I cannot believe that in 2 days he would have been a year old. He was my kindred spirit and we shared so much. I miss that connection that I had with him since I don't have that with very many people, if anyone at all. It was very unique and nothing that I could ever begin to explain. He had such a calm and kind temperament. At night I miss him the most since that was our time...I was working and would see him when I came up in between breaks but nighttime was our time. His big brothers were in bed and it was quiet and I would hold him and just enjoy his presence. Maybe that is why I hate the silence the most...those were our moments. What I would give to hold him one more time is just immeasurable.
Soon enough, Michael will be home, and life as I now know it will yet again continue. I will hold it together, do all the things I am suppose to do, and put that smile back on my face that has now become painted permanently on just to survive. I will have tons of paperwork to fill out and probably have to get together the things I forgot to send in(my mind has just been on the fritz and I am lucky my head is attached since I surely would have lost it by now.) I know George is with us always,I see signs every day that I take as God's way of letting us know he is ok. As I looked back on the pictures of the little boys I took today, there are these beams of light just shining through in the picture. I remember when Josh first called them Angel dust! We had our angel dust today even though it doesn't make us feel any better, I know we are not alone.
Video Tributes/Celebration of Life Footage
Here is a link to a video tribute that was made by Richard's dad in memory of George. Get out your tissues!
We Finally have footage from the service up and running:
It is in 4 sections running about 17 mins each. If you were unable to attend, you can now see what you missed. We were so blessed to have everyone there with us in person and in spirit!