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Life is just not the same without our little monkey. The thing I miss the most is his cuddling with me. My boys were always daddy boys when they were babies, but he was mine, just mine. Gabrielle, for the first time a few days ago, tucked herself under my chin and cuddled with me for the first time ever just like George used to. Since then, I could not get that moment with her out of my mind and also think about all those blessed moments I had with George and so thankful in those moments that I knew enough to cherish those moments and now the memories are worth more than any amount of money.
I would give up all these earthly possessions like my home, money, and anything else besides my family and those I love just for another moment with my son in that capacity. Ironically, the dream I had about him right after he died was just that. I had been praying to God to help me through all the pain and was so sad I had not had a moment to say goodbye. One night I had a dream and he was in it. I knew he was dead but I held him just like I did when he was alive. His little head was tucked under my chin and our hearts beats just were in sink as I stood there holding him. Eventually, my time was up, and I knew he had to leave. With a heavy heart I handed him back to an angel, Jesus, or God(not really sure who it was at the time I did know but all I can focus on now was that feeling of holding him again and my spiritual goodbye to him) and watched as they left.
I know I will again have that someday for an eternity but for now I just hold tight to the memories I have. We all miss him in our own way and I know that moving is stirring up a lot of emotions for us all. Even though we are leaving the only place he ever knew as home, nothing can take away the memories we have and the time we were blessed to have him here with us. Even when the worst things in life happens, there is nothing that can take away those blessed moments that we had with him.
We all miss you little monkey and can't wait to spend eternity with you but until then know you are forever loved and remembered by us all! You have touched our hearts in such a special way. Hugs and kisses and lots of I love you's are being sent up to you in heaven! We LOVE YOU!
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