Today was such a hard day and there is no specific reason why other than we miss George and the shock has finally worn off and we are just left with this sadness. Hugh just broke down this morning after he got short with the kids. He just kept asking me if he was a good dad and that he felt bad for getting short with the boys. It was then that he started to just cry and submitted to his pain. So many times he holds it together, even for me, trying to be the strong one there for everyone else. There are just sometimes it is just to much for him to carry alone and today was that day. The rest of the day didn't get much better emotionally as I found random periods of crying for no apparent reason other then the heaviness of my heart and that was all I knew how to do.
I was in the shower tonight, were I do most of my best thinking, and then all of a sudden I had an aha moment. The song Holes in the Floor of Heaven kept running through my mind. It was only one particular part where it said there was a cold lonesome rain. That of course made me think of the song Bring on the Rain and that triggered a whole other host of thoughts.
My mind wandered to the very meaning of the visualization used with dancing in the rain and I definately got the concept of making the best out of a bad situation rather then letting it get the best of you. Never before had I thought anything other then that, until tonight. The opposite of rain is sun. The man use of these things that we think of happens to be with plants. Then I sat there thinking of flowers and how if there is too much sun they wither and if there is too much rain they do the same thing. In order for them to be strong and sturdy fruitful parts of the earth, they must have the perfect blanace of both sun and rain.
I then began to think of how that trasfered to life. Both the good and bad things help us to grow as people just as the sun and rain help to bring life to plants. When it rains/bad things happen to us, it is like God is giving us the water to quench our thirst so we don't wither. We need the rain/bad moments to become strong. Usually there are more sunny days then rainy ones and the sun is needed just as much as the rain, even more. Those good days are our days in the sun that cause the need for the rain to quench our thirst and that applies to our spirital lives. We are always disappointed when the rain comes but also know it is short lived and the sun will be back again. To me this all transends to our lives.
There are different size storms along with twisters/hurricans that come along and change our lives forever. We are never the same after these events but that also does not mean we don't come out better in the end. It can take years to rebuild a place after a hurricane rather then just a simple spring rain that most are accustom to. I don't know how many people have ever realized much of what I typed but I felt compelled to share my thoughts about it and hope that you can find something in it like I did tonight. This isn't like a spring rain and it will take a long time to rebuild and yes it will be different but it doesn't mean it can't be better.
George's Guardian's of Grace Projects
Stocking project is now in full force collecting donations. We have a list of the items we can use. You can also choose to sponsor a stocking in memory or honor of someone else. We will include a paragraph or two in the cards we place in the stockings to let the recipient know about the person that means so much to you. Our paypal account is posted on this page and ready to take donations. Email us for a list of items needed or with any questions or information you would like included on a sponsored stocking/donation.
Video Tributes/Celebration of Life Footage
Here is a link to a video tribute that was made by Richard's dad in memory of George. Get out your tissues!
We Finally have footage from the service up and running:
It is in 4 sections running about 17 mins each. If you were unable to attend, you can now see what you missed. We were so blessed to have everyone there with us in person and in spirit!