Prayers Needed

I am asking for prayers for another angel mommy and her family. A year ago today they said goodbye to their sweet little boy. For whatever reason I have had a connection to this mom since I met her. Maybe it is because her little boy's name was Joshua David and I have one myself or the fact she has 4 boys too but I don't really know what it truly is.

I dread the day that I get to this point in my road. I cannot even begin to immagine what she is going through today although I know my day will come. So many times I tried to prepare myself to loose a child just in case but you can never prepare yourself for the intense lifelong journey that this puts you on. You cannot fathom the pain and emptiness that engulfs a piece of your heart like the loss of a child does. No words can explain it nor does any other life situation compare.

Like me, Danna is trying to find good in her loss. This weekend she is holding a walk in his honor. Her web page is http://cjsids.donorpages.com/JoshuaHornStridesforBabies/
She does not want another parent to walk the shoes we do every single day of our lives. If you would like to sponosor her mission, there is still time. THis goes to SIDS research and support for families who have lost a baby to SIDS.

In so many reguards SIDS is just horrible. It becomes a living nightmare for those who experience it. The trauma from that day never leave your mind and you are constantly haunted by the tragic events. There was no warning, there was nothing other then finding your child had awoken in God's arms and not yours. With this there come no answers and just more questions. Not only questions that you have but you are questioned by the authorities who have to think you would do something horrible to your child. I cannot tell you how truly horrible that really is to have to go through and live though.

As a parent you will always wonder what if? Somehow there comes a feeling of guilt dispite the fact logically you know there is nothing more you could do. You wonder when did my child go to heaven? You wonder if they were ever in pain or if there was just something you could have done that would have changed their fate. None of these feelings ever go away. We are left with horrible traumatic memories of our children and want to know why they are gone. For whatever reason God called them home but there truly is no way to wrap your head around it when they were perfectly fine when you put them to bed the night before.

We know we must continue on with our lives. Our walk here on Earth now comes with a heavy heart with the hope to be with our child again someday. Unfortunately, there is not enough research. I personally believe it has to do with a combination of genetic issues, dysautonomic issues, and environment. There are no set standard except to lable these children as having an unexplainable death.

Please keep this family in your prayers and all families who have lost a child because the pain is just unimmaginable unless you have walked the path yourself. We belong to this club that we don't want to be part of and hope will someday have no new members. The reality is that it will never be that way but so many of us are thankful for the promiss of a joyous reunion the day our work here is done.