Our Angel Mito Monkey: I Cannot Immagine by My Sister Tara Sworaski

George's Guardian's of Grace Projects

Stocking project is now in full force collecting donations. We have a list of the items we can use. You can also choose to sponsor a stocking in memory or honor of someone else. We will include a paragraph or two in the cards we place in the stockings to let the recipient know about the person that means so much to you. Our paypal account is posted on this page and ready to take donations. Email us for a list of items needed or with any questions or information you would like included on a sponsored stocking/donation.

Monday, February 15, 2010

I Cannot Immagine by My Sister Tara Sworaski

I wake up crying, salty tears streaming.
A nightmare I live, somehow not dreaming.
I ache to save you, to just stop the screaming.
Everyone asks how I am doing,
When I just want your smile, your beautiful cooing.
The pain in my heart just keeps on brewing.
I just want to hold you and kiss your sweet head,
To see you this morning awake in your bed.
I wonder why it couldn’t be me instead.
I fill with guilt because I’m losing your smell.
I don’t know how to make a home in this Hell.
I’m tired of “I’m sorry” or wishing me well.
I question God. I fill with rage.
Your book too short, ink still wet on the page.
It’s not fair that I miss seeing you age.
Yet, I somehow find peace in God’s will.
For I know I will hold you again still.
I now carry your heart with me until
We meet again.

I’m not ok. My heart is breaking.
Each night when I dream, I end up shaking.
I’m angry that God seems to be forsaking.
I miss your blue eyes and kissing your lips.
My body confused with you not on my hips.
Clutching memories of you, my mind, daily, grips.
What do I do with your clothes and toys?
What do I tell my other three boys?
How do I ever now experience joys?
How do I hurt and somehow let go?
I just want to be weak and let my feelings show!
No one understands. No one will know!
I don’t want to “live”, don’t want to wake.
I want God to take back this awful mistake.
From this sadness and pain, I can’t get a break.
I feel so empty. I am just broken.
I keep your clothes as somehow a small token.
Why God, is this what you have spoken?
I had no choice. I had no say.
It was too short when you took him away!
Could I not have an hour more to just play
With my sweet little man?

This is not like the loss of a person you knew.
Yes, we feel pain, but it’s not the same-that is true!
Feel bad for me. I don’t want to feel sorry for YOU.
I don’t want to hear how you got back on track.
Whatever you did won’t bring my son back.
When you say you understand, is it a child YOU lack??
Oh God, please come take me. Please hear my cries,
As I sit alone in his room, flooding my eyes.
Each second I heal, while a part of me dies.
I tell myself lies to make myself stronger,
When my heart aches for you for one second longer.

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Matthew 25:35

For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37“Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? 38‘And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39‘When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40“The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’ 41“Then He will also say to those on His left, ‘Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; 42for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; 43I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.’ 44“Then they themselves also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?’ 45“Then He will answer them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ 46“These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Obituary

George Charles Garman of Lumberton, born September 9, 2009, awoke in the Lord's loving arms on Friday, January 29, 2010. He was a beloved infant-son, brother, grandson, nephew, and light to all during his time on Earth, and his beautiful smile and infectious laugh continue to live on in the memories of all who knew him. The gifts he bestowed upon everyone he encountered are especially recalled fondly by his parents, Hugh and Nicole Garman (Arnao), brothers, Richard, Joshua, and Michael, grandparents, Michael and Barbara Arnao, and Alice and the late Frank Garman, and his great-grandparents Charles and Catherine Arnao and the late George and Frieda Miller. While the four short months he shared with his loved ones were made all too brief due to his fight with Mitochondrial Disease, his memory will live on forever. A celebration of George's life will be held on Saturday, February 13, 2010. Calling hours will be from 12:00-2:00 PM at St. Martin in the Fields Episcopal Church, 489 Main St., Lumberton, NJ 08048. A celebratory service will begin at 2 PM with a reception following. In lieu of flowers, the family welcomes donations made in George's name to The Joshua Garman Special Needs Trust c/o J. Robert Steelman 1117 Lambert Dr., Westhampton, NJ 08060. Condolences may be sent to www.koschekandporterfuneralhome.com